Cutting the Cord (aka Oh Yeah We Had That Plugged In)

In a bold move we dropped cable a couple of weeks ago. We cut the cord – we’re untethered and in the wild. Oh yeah. We’ve gone off the cable grid and we don’t care who knows.

Because we still pay like $50 for internet and we have Netflix and rent movies from Hastings and the local library and still don’t get through very much media. We could trim away media fat for the next 5 years and still have too much to watch.

We were paying about $60 for cable. We watched it roughly 1-2 hours a week. We’d usually just forget about it, stay up late on Friday night trying to “clear off the DVR” and realize again how little we watched it. So cutting the cord was not really a dramatic stand, it was just remembering that it was still plugged in and sucking $60 a month out of our pockets.

cut cables
Oh it looks dramatic. BECAUSE IT IS.

The only regret I have is…I don’t know, I don’t have enough time to browse through the news shows I would usually watch like Charlie Rose or the Colbert Report. I can buy them online, theoretically. Now I usually wait until a particularly good bit comes up on Twitter or Facebook and I can go back to see it. I’d say I’m gonna miss all those sports I love to watch but that’s called lying. I want to watch Mad Men – other than that I’m not married to any new shows. If I want to buy a season pass for 1 or 2 that would cost less than two months of cable. See? Addition. I’m sharp.

It was pretty funny to see the lengths our cable went to to get us back. All sorts of offers and extra perks and upgrading our DVR and whatever else. I just kept repeating, with just a little guilt, “Yeah, that sounds great, we just don’t watch it.”

Them: “But what if we offered you 10,000 more channels for the same price (for 2 months then charged you $200 a month after that)?”

Me: “It sounds nice. I wouldn’t watch that either.”

Them: “What if we gave birth to some children with heads like TVs like in that comic Saga and you could adopt them?”

Me: “Like I need more mouths to feed.”

Them: “What if we changed our name to anything you thought of on a whim?”

Me: “Like you’d change your name to Gooseberries Pooped Their Pants Inc.?”

Them: [Pause] “Let me check with my supervisor.” [Pause] “Yes. For 5 hours we would take that name.”

Me: “Really? Like tomorrow?”

Them: “Mid-March 2047.”

Me: “Yeah, it sounds good, but I really don’t watch it now.”

This is how much I’ll miss it: I forgot we didn’t have it, not because I wanted to watch the Mad Men Season 7 premiere tomorrow live on TV, but because as I was looking for the cheapest season pass solution (nothing beats iTunes’ price and since I have a Mac and an iPhone, unless someone knows of something that beats $35, that’s where I’m at) and somehow I ran into discussions about cutting cable, and I thought, did we…yep, we cut cable. That’s how much we watch it.

Now, if we cut Netflix, I think my kids would all start hyperventilating without my telling them, they’re so addicted. They’d sense a disturbance in the force and come to me with serious faces asking if something was wrong. That would really be cutting the cord for us. But I mean, just super bold of us, cutting cable. We’re like modern day pioneers.

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