Predictions for the second half of Mad Men Season 7

In second half of the last season (like the Hobbit! Except it’s already shot and will be postponed because everyone’s scared to death no other show will come on AMC in the next year that will be even close!) one of the following will happen as the show comes to an end:

  1. Don will have 15 affairs with the last 15 year’s Miss Americas OR he’ll be alone and working and ok with it OR he’ll freak out again and shred all good around him in a haze of self-destructive rage OR he’ll slowly be pulled up to heaven during a partners meeting and break a hole in the ceiling tiles in the shape of a falling man.
  2. Peggy will suck up the entire floor into her mouth like a vacuum with the power of her anger OR she’ll end up alone and working and ok with it OR she’ll end up with that guy with the beard.
  3. Betty will give Sally all her hand-me-downs and a pack of cigarettes for graduation OR destroy her neighborhood with a wave of energy powered by social tension OR try that shoot-the-neighbors’ pigeons thing again because it worked really well the first time.
  4. Ken’s missing eye will mysteriously regrow into a black orb that can see the future but only 15 seconds and he’ll get a spinoff called “Kenzai: The Future, Behold!” where he travels around solving game-show quizzes OR he’ll remain the only guy on the show who hasn’t cheated on wife.
  5. Pete Campbell will suddenly make us care about him OR he won’t. His wife not putting up with his temper-tantrum was tre cool.
  6. Joan will find ancient pair of solid-gold boxing gloves and work her way up through the illegal underground boxing world OR move into a nice house she bought for herself with the money from the McAnn acquisition and hire a nanny for her son and send her mom off somewhere and breakdown and cry in her living room in an emotional scene where she realizes that all along she didn’t need men and was good enough on her own all along. Or the boxing thing.
  7. Harry Crane will have a television grafted on to his head Saga-style that will spout lies based on current viewership of the agency’s commercials OR actually that’s the only possibility.

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